“Why wasn’t I enough?”
These are the words that make me cringe. They make me grit my teeth. They break my heart. I have yet to hear these words come from a anyone who deserved to say them. These are the typical words of a woman devastated by a man who decided another woman (or path, whatever) was the way to his future.
Let me say this to you loud and clear…
Him Leaving Was NEVER ABOUT YOU NOT BEING ENOUGH!!!
Yes, it more than sucks that the man you call “the one” would consider anyone or anything else over you but honestly, if you think about it, do YOU really want to be with someone that is thinking about somebody else? Do YOU really want to waste your time with someone who isn’t happy being with you? Do YOU really want someone to fake a life with you?
Yeah, I know. It’s commitment and it is supposed to be an extended one, maybe even lifelong because that was the mutual agreement. You made a promise. You made a vow. You devoted your life, therefore, he was supposed to do the same. And yet, he didn’t.
Why!? Why didn’t he!?!?
I know there are so many of you wondering why the man of your dreams left you behind. So, the super sucky thing about his decision is that you may never know the real “why”.
What sucks more? He probably wouldn’t be able to tell you because, in the end, he may not ever really know, either.
Eff that, right? I know. He should know, shouldn’t he? You are owed an explanation. You are owed the reason behind his actions. It is only fair that you be given an understanding!
Is it, though? Is life so fair and just that we all know why we do what we do when we do it? Sometimes, there is no known reason at the time. There is just a feeling, an emotion, that drives the decision and before long, people are hurt and the damage is done.
Quite honestly, you have to get over being left!
If you are still pining after a relationship that someone else flushed down the toilet you might consider the contents of the toilet. Maybe what you had in the relationship was not worth spending eternity in. Maybe you value commitment over happiness. Maybe there is a lot going on in that commode that you didn’t see. And then again, maybe it wasn’t a wasted flush. Bottom line, someone didn’t want you – why in the hell do you want them???
Moreover, why even ask about being enough? You’re not designed to be “enough” for another. You’re not structured to be the filling putty for another human being. You’re a person. An individual. You are YOU. Consider yourself as something more than someone’s “better half”!!! You are NOT a better half or a worse half! You are a full wonderful, beautiful, incredible you. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t like to have someone special in your life but that person should NOT complete you. Your continual evolvement will continually complete you. But them? They are a GREAT compliment to you. Like wine with a meal; either can be great on their own or they can be thoroughly enjoyed together.
(I don’t even know you and I believe that about you!)
So, do you and me a favor? Don’t limit yourself as “enough”. You’re not just “enough”. You’re an individual – a special creation that no one else in the world could possibly be! Maybe you’re a handful of crazy. Maybe you are that ever elusive unicorn. You must be more than he could see and that’s just fine! Not everyone will see you the same way. Different parts of you come out with different people. The better guy will believe in the way you do you.
Do not, by any means, define your life as an extension of another, ever. You are not an extension to a guy (or anyone, for that matter) – you are a compliment to them as much as they are a compliment to you! You two are not “one” – you two are a powerhouse! Be proud of you and only allow a person into your life that is just as proud because if they aren’t you end up asking yourself…”Why wasn’t I enough?”
…And then you might just tear yourself apart unnecessarily.
Get yourself into gear and be you. It’s not about being enough – it’s about being YOU.
Elegant Discourse 