healing – Elegant Discourse

Nick and I take a deeper look at how Covid-19 has changed our world and what it has given to us all.

Nick

One thing the Covid19 pandemic has taught or reminded us is the profound relationship between physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and relational wellbeing. People across the world have barricaded themselves in (or, at times, been instructed to self-isolate – or else) to avoid the physical threat of a potentially deadly virus. The media hype that has accompanied the crisis has created an ever-more terrifying drama in which existential anxiety has turned to outright panic. ‘How can we find God in this?’, ‘Will our economies collapse?’, ‘What about my job?’, ‘Are we all going to die?’

The effects have been worst for the poorest people and communities in the world. The lockdown may have created a risk of real starvation that outweighs the risk of infection. For such people, life means hanging on by a thread. Reaching out to God is a daily, essential, way of solace, sense-making and survival. It puts our worries about empty supermarket shelves into humbling and challenging perspective. The recovery post-virus will take time, care and support. Many have faced their darkest fears and find themselves weakened, damaged and hurting. Healing at all levels will be needed soon.

Tara

Sadly, for some, the isolation posed by Covid-19 has further-darkened domestic prisons. Since the order to self-isolate, we hear of an increased number of cases of suicides, domestic violence and child abuse. Experts say the cause is a lack of access to social provision and support systems. Even access to the help of loved ones was reduced by efforts to ‘flatten the curve’. Others experienced little change to their daily activities, other than rolling out-of-bed to walk a few feet to their home office. Some didn’t have to roll out of bed at all, if they were on furlough. Amazing how an event can impact on billions in such a way that its identity can be recognized everywhere by a single name.

As the push to re-open the global economy begins, we must know that our personal experience with this pandemic is distinctive in its physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and relational impacts – yet it’s collective ashes we all must rise from. How we heal from the viral setback will depend on our own identity and locus of power. For some, healing cannot be done alone. We must be willing to help each other heal by extending a hand to those in need. We must continue to connect in ways that may feel far-fetched, or old-fashioned. If Covid-19 has given anything positive, it is a new appreciation of how we need one-another to withstand such forces and thrive, despite the pain.

Nick Wright is a psychological coach, trainer and organisation development (OD) consultant, based in the UK (www.nick-wright.com). Tara Parker is a change agent, organization development (OD) consultant and soft skills coach, based in the USA (www.elegantdiscourse.net).

As I sit here, a recently experiencing major surgery, I realize how interesting the healing the process is and how it is overlooked. The process I am going through reminds me how much we underestimate the time needed to completely heal before moving on to a new normal. Think of the last time you skinned your knee and the event that caused it. Did you pay mind to the amount of time it would take for the wound to heal? Or did a simple bandage make everything better allowing you to continue along your merry way? Surely the trauma from falling was minute posing no mental concern resulting in a minor injury that would heal quickly, quietly, and on its own.

That is the best experience when it comes to healing: “quickly, quietly, and on its own.” Turns out that may not be the best thing for all injuries. Not all wounds are the result of child’s play. As emotional humans we take on different levels of injury. Some of these injuries we seek out such as a scheduled major surgery. Some injuries are out of our control but pose no less danger to our health or life. Other injuries we just don’t seem to know how to avoid because mentally, we’re not healthy enough to know what to look out for. What’s worse? We don’t know our mental health is slightly compromised because we generally look “okay” – though, deep down, we may suspect otherwise.

As I sit here at my desk, you would not know that I am injured. You would not know the injuries I have are from a scheduled surgery. You would not know I am healing and working rather hard to do so (ouch, by the way!). I am presenting myself as I do any other day. One could say I have applied the bandage that makes everything “better”. However, inside, I am sore. I am incredibly tired. I am incapacitated to a degree that prevents me from household chores due to my medical restrictions. To look at me though, I look as healthy as a horse until you see my eyes. To look at my eyes it would be easy to see something is not right. I need help.

Upon this observation one might be tempted to ask if I am okay. This is where I would tell you that despite the level of the procedure I had, “I am fine.”

You should take that statement with a grain of salt no matter who says it.

Some injuries are not visible to the naked eye. Some are not visible on the body, at all. Some traumas are such that they cause injury to the mind where healing can be the most difficult. The issue is that mental sores are not the easiest to talk about much less ask details for. Which is why sometimes when we are uncomfortable with the trauma others have experienced, we avert our eyes to “not get involved”. I find this interesting as most would rather look on or get involved with a physical trauma than a mental one. I suppose it is difficult to receive the designation of “hero” if others cannot see you assess the trauma.

This is why it is important to realize the healing process, at the mental level, takes no less time than a physical one. While the injury cannot be immediately seen nor is there obvious signs of trauma such as bandages, the injury is there all the same. It should receive the same level of care and time as any other injury. This is not to say mental injuries, such as divorces, abuse, or failures should be milked until all parties are exhausted but there could be a level of exhaustion experienced from maneuvering yourself through the emotions you feel even if you have a guide, like a counselor, to help you. This is what makes the healing process a learning process, as well.

Give yourself time to heal no matter the trauma or the injury. The healing process is designed to allow yourself the space to explore the feelings (mental or physical) associated with the stress so that you can get past them. If not, expect them to rear their ugly head repeatedly until you do. If you don’t allow yourself to heal completely you hold yourself back postponing any opportunity to get better and be better.

What injuries were the hardest to heal from? Are you completely healed?

Tag: healing

Health and healing

Healing: The Overlooked Process